Heavenly minded?... or head in the clouds?

     

          As of lately, I have noticed that a few people I know have been preaching a turn or burn message that promotes and encourages others to not concern themselves with ANYTHING of this world, and by anything I mean career and monetary success, establishing and reaching personal goals, working on relationships, etc.  It seems to be a trend among certain religious groups. Mainly the 18 to 23 crowd or the one's that hold firm beliefs that the rapture will be occurring very soon. These same people teach that nothing but serving the lord matters, and usually use this belief as provision from God for them to not have to work a lot (or at all), to not have to be their own sole monetary support, or to not have to spend a lot of time catering to their spouses and children. (I know a guy that actually neglects being home to work at his church and spend time with his worship band buddies playing music, and uses Deuteronomy 33:9 and Matthew 10:37 as justification for it.) Needless to say, the people in this group more times than not have mainly things that others have donated to them out of charity or have given to them on loan, and have fairly shallow or dysfuctional relationships with others.
          I might also point out that they usually do not encourage this way of living to the people they depend on the most. I could be wrong, but it seems to me that even those that claim their way of life is due to the fact that Jesus is returning soon, are merely using religion as an excuse to be lazy because they know that many people would feel guilty to refute something that is supposedly what God told them to do. I, however, have no problem not catering to people like that. After all, didn't David Koresh engage in polygamy and statutory rape and Jim Jones lead a mass suicide of 909 church members all in the name of God? As insane as those men were, they had followers who whole heartedly supported them in their fanaticism.

          I realize how niave people can be. They mean well, but they want to believe in something. And don't think there aren't individuals out there that won't take advantage of that. Charismatic individuals that can present a real emotional story. Sometimes people think, "There's no way someone who talks so much about the Lord is wrong," but open your eyes, friends. Take a look at the fruit of their LIFE. Take a look at their ACTIONS and what those actions produce.  Words are void without action. We have a whole lot of people out there who want to play the expert on situations they know zip about. They want to make a judgement about scenerios they have never even once experienced in their own lives, and they want to condemn masses of people simply for caring about how much money is in their 401K?... but they sure don't mind other people's money trickling down into THEIR pockets, do they? They sure don't mind when people make THEM a priority.
          We need to be on our toes and be cautious of folks like this. That doesn't mean to hate or condemn them. It doesn't even mean to expose them publicly as a fraud necessarily. It just means to be on guard, and to love them enough to maybe try to set them straight discreatly. I can't deny that some of them mean well and don't even realize their own selfish motives, so have grace.
          Since it is relevent to the topic at hand, I wanted to share an email I wrote to a friend that has been fairly close with my family in the past, but at the time this message was written, he was not fully aware of mine and Sean's current spiritual beliefs. It is a response to a potential rising debate on a Facebook post written by my sister in law. If anyone else has raised questions about similar topics, maybe this will help shed some light on the subject...

      

      

       First of all, I want to respond to you privately because I believe that is more appropriate and respectful, and I owe you that. Also, I want you to know that I am responding with the utmost love in my heart. It is of some importance that you know where Sean and I stand anyway, so it would be greatly appreciated if you would give me the chance to respond to your most recent comment.

      I don't want you to think I was trying to debate you publicly. I was merely responding to the fact that you told my sister in law that there is no reason to seek anything of this world, including relationships. I thought that to be a confusing and false statement that might lead her and others that read her posts to question whether they should fight for a relationship. If there is no reason to seek relationships then what kind of existence would it be if we truly DIDN'T seek relationships? A miserable existence it would be to have no deep meaningful relationship with anyone in your life, and that is not at all what God would have for any of us. What if your own family members took your advice and didn't seek a relationship with YOU? Would you feel the same way if your parents who you have counted on to help you get back on your feet decided it was pointless to seek a relationship with you? Or would you be judging them for being heartless unforgiving parents? Not to mention, if you are supposed to be Christ-like, then seeking relationships is not pointless. According to your Bible, Jesus had very close relationships with his disciples and his mother. He pursued people out of love for them. I hope you see my point.

        And the reason I was unsure of how your last comment applied to my sister in law's situation with her boyfriend is because you said, and I quote you, "If you are actually putting God first in your life and following him the way the bible describes then everything else will fall into place." But here's the problem, NO ONE can ever follow the Bible exactly to the letter all the time, so how will anyone ever achieve this life that you speak of where "everything falls into place?" It just seemed like useless information, not to mention it seemed like you were implying that she isn't putting God first, since it's obvious that things are a struggle for her and aren't just naturally falling into place. You stated that that's not what you were implying, but I didn't really see another way to take it.

        I realize that you can come up with all kinds of scriptures to rebut me and interpret them in whatever way you need to to get your point across. For every scripture you have, I will have another that contradicts yours. It becomes an endless debate. All pastors and teachers do it from all different denominations. You are just one of the millions who do it and your interpretation is no better than anyone else's. I used to be one of them, so I know.  The fact is, you're correct when you say that throwing scriptures at me won't do any good. It won't. I don't need words in a book to tell me how things ARE. All I have to do is look around to see how things ARE. God has set certain laws in motion and has made this universe function in a particular way. All we have to do to figure out how it works is open our hearts, open our eyes, and pay attention. God will teach us everything we need to know without any book if we just habitually open our hearts to truth in every situation in our lives and then watch and listen. God teaches us through every experience, relationship, mistake and triumph, with a little thing called consequence. You make a choice and if it has a consequence that doesn't feel so hot, you learn to not do that thing again. You grow from it. You make a choice and if it has a positive consequence, you learn that you made a good decision and you enjoy the blessings that it brings. Or you can be a good observer and watch consequences play out in others lives so that you don't have to make certain mistakes yourself. This is how it works for EVERYBODY, no matter ethnicity, religion, gender, class or walk of life. That is the truth. I don't know this because I got it from the Bible or any other philosophical or religious book. I know this because I SEE it and EXPERIENCE it every day in my own life and in the lives of every single person I know.  Reaping and sowing (or cause and effect) is universal. If a person claims this isn't how it works, they are blind or stupid.

        With that being said, it brings me to my point that I have learned a thing or two about life and love and relationships through my many experiences. I said nothing at all to my sister in law that wasn't the truth, yet you said publicly that you can refute me with scripture. How about refute me with facts? I know first hand what she is dealing with because I have been there, and her fighting for her relationship with the guy she loves is not pointless nor does it mean she isn't putting God first. Making a relationship work well takes a lot of dedication, effort, selflessness, trust, and forgiveness. You said you will encourage her to seek the lord you serve, which isn't a bad thing at all, but at the same time, you are suggesting that it is best for her to not seek her relationship with her boyfriend. That is poor advice coming from someone who has never been married or experienced what it was like to fight really hard through a comitted relationship and come out better on the other side.  Jesus taught that the most important thing is LOVE. How are we supposed to let God teach us how to love without us seeking relationships with others? It would be impossible.
 
       I have learned a lot about love in the last couple of years. I can say with all honesty that some relationships are completely worth the fight. I wouldn't be as close with my mother in law had we not despised each other at one point. We both learned from all that, and because I was willing to SEEK after her with love even when she disliked me, she was encouraged enough to pull herself out of the pit she was in and get well, not to mention give me a chance to prove myself to her. From there she was able to prove herself to me as well and we were able to then lay a good foundation for the relationship we have now, which is an incredible one. I love her very much, and no one can ever convince me that there is no reason to seek relationships. Had I not sought after my mother in law, she might have slipped over the edge.
       
       Same goes for my relationship with Sean. We have stayed up till wee hours of the morning more times than I can count crying and fighting with each other until we got on the same page. We have both had to make changes to suite each others needs and make our relationship great, and it's safe to say that we both have grown and matured personally as well. There is a reason for EVERYTHING.  The struggles have taught me so much about God, myself and others. The same is happening for my sister in law. She is going through a process and God is teaching her. Please don't hinder that by encouraging her to give up on what she loves and has already invested so much of her time in. I am so glad that I didn't give in to the people that told me I was wasting my time with Sean. I'm glad he didn't listen to the people that told him the same about me. Because neither of us would trade what we have now for anything.

        It is your choice if you want to live the rest of your life being a single, zealous Christian who does nothing but preach, teach, talk and sing about Christ, read your Bible, pray, and not spend any time establishing deep relationships with people. I don't think that is "wrong," I would simply call it "your preference." That is how you wish to live just as it is not my wish to live that way. It doesn't make either of us wrong, it just makes us different individuals that have different needs in our lives to get us to the same ultimate truth, which is where everybody is headed, whether they realize it or not. But don't take what you have decided is right for your life, and cram it down other people's throats as a way they must live to be pleasing to God. 

       It is true, your beliefs differ greatly from mine, but that is okay. We don't have to agree with every belief of those that we choose to love. Beliefs shouldn't matter. Love is what matters, whether you are a Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Musslim, Hindu, an agnostic, or an athiest. We all are entitled to the pursuit of love and happiness. For me, I have a family, so I have to always consider what's best for my children, my marriage, and my family as a whole before loving everyone else, but the fact still remains that I choose to at least offer love to anyone and everyone. If it is trampled on, then I move on with my life, and if it is returned then that is just more blessings and goodness in my life. This is where I firmly stand. I hope that you can respect that.

Much love,

Lana